I’ve been having trouble with this whole new fitness routine. It’s not the working out that I can’t do. I love running and that doesn’t seem to be a problem. My problem is food. I don’t know why but for some reason all I crave is junk food. I never used to be this way: I was a tofu cooking, salad eating, yoga stretching health nut. Now I find myself eying McDonald’s like it’s gourmet. What is my deal? I feel like I need a diet pill like Anoretix or something to keep my appetite in check. Maybe the more I work out the easier it will get. I didn’t grow up on fast food, and I used to think of it as toxic waste. In a way, I think it is fairly toxic to the system. I also think those fast food guys must put additives in the food that make us crave it. Whatever it is, I’m hoping to break the addiction and fast. Do they have a twelve step program for Taco Bell junkies? “Hi my name is Bug and it’s been 2 days since my last crunchy taco.”

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I know I talk about being an old soul sometimes, thinking about things like life insurance rates and roth iras, all of that grown up stuff. Still at the same time, I keep finding myself falling back into college patterns too. I’m stuck between an old soul and being an irresponsible party girl. I have this internal struggle where part of me wants to go out and live it up at the bars, date lots of different guys, and party it up like I’m still a freshman in college. Then there’s my serious side, that wants nothing more than a partner to sit at home with. Snuggle up on the couch and watch movies and just talk. My fear is I will finally find someone to do that with, and then I’ll be restless, wanting to get out and be wild. I think the key is finding someone I can chill out with and be wild and immature with as well. Any suggestions on where to find this mystery man?

I’ve got the I don’t wanna study for my Microsoft certified desktop support technician blues. Just the name alone makes me want to fall into a study induced coma. It’s frustrating, because I know if I gain more knowledge in the field I will be a more valuable employee. I know I need to get certified by microsoft, and cisco too if I want to get ahead in the IT world. I have used cisco systems, and I use Microsoft products every day, but I need the certificates to back it up. I can’t seem to get motivated to study, and you would the think the prospect of a raise would be enough. When I get home at the end of the day the last thing I want to do is crack open a book. Maybe I need to get to a coffee shop or someplace other than my house. Anyone have any suggestions on how to motivate myself to study?

This past three day weekend I got to spend a lot of time with my family. I was especially excited to see my baby nephew, who is quite the little peanut. I know I am biased, but that little boy is about the cutest thing ever, wouldn’t you agree?

He’s a little miracle in so many ways. When he was born he was really premature and spent a few weeks in the hospital. Now he’s a big happy healthy boy. The other miracle is how he’s affected my brother, his father’s, life. Before my brother met his wife, he was heavy into drugs and hanging out with a bad crowd. Then he went to a drug treatment center and got clean. It’s also where he met his wife and through recovery they fell in love. Then they found out they were having my baby nephew and my brother has lived every moment for that little man. It’s amazing to see the way he is with his son. I couldn’t be prouder of the father my brother has become to that little boy. I just wish I could see them more!

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been busy working out and socializing or what, but my house has become a disaster area. I have neglected everything: my laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming. People who know me would be shocked if they came to my house. I’m normally very very tidy, to the point of being borderline OCD. I guess that’s why knowing that the dishes are piled all the way up to the kitchen faucets and their are dirty clothes all over my room causes me to lose sleep. I think messy people would just relax and be cool with it. Me? I plan on spending a Friday night home so I can remedy the situation. Jealous of my fabulous plans? I thought you would be. I guess my apartment is sort of a reflection on my life right now. It’s kind of a jumbled, scattered mess. I really need to start sorting through it.

I can’t believe how fast May is going by. It’s almost the end of the month already! I love the summer, especially June and July. So many fun things to look forward to: bbqs, fireworks, bonfires, camping. Then there’s Father’s Day, which I don’t really look forward to. Not that I don’t love my Dad, Stepdad and grandpas, but it’s so hard to shop for them. My dad is a diver but he owns a dive shop and already has all the cool diving gadgets. My stepdad is a carpenter who wants really expensive tools. My grandpa is a golfer, and all he wants are Callaway golf clubs which I can’t even begin to afford. I know just a card would work, but I’d like to get them thoughtful gifts. With moms it’s easy-they love pictures. With dads? No idea. Any suggestions?

We’ve been having some crazy schizophrenic weather lately. Just a few days ago the weather was unbearably hot. It was in the triple digits on Thursday! And now today it’s windy and slightly drizzling. It is making it difficult to figure out when to do my running for team in training. I’m getting frustrated with my apartment because I can’t just take nightly jogs around the complex because they have little to no outdoor lighting and it’s not safe. It’s frustrating because I don’t have a running buddy all the time and I could really use one.

It was too hot to go running last week, even at night, so I ended up doing laps in the pool. The pool is fun, but I find that I’m way more out of shape in the pool than I am running. Funny how for as tired as I get in the pool, I don’t seem sore like I get when I run. Why is that? It feels like my heart is working twice as hard but the results aren’t as noticeable. I think I need swim lessons or something because I end up splashing around and gasping for air. I look like I’m drowning or something, it’s pathetic. Anyone know of any hot guys that want to teach me to swim?

As some of you might know, I’m a little bit of a gamer. I went out and bought a playstation 3 because it plays blue-ray discs, dvds, and video games. If I were made of money though, I’d have also bought the XBOX360. It has a lot of really cool games; fusion frenzy is my favorite. There is the most random video on youtube where Howie Mandel gives away an xbox for free! I would love to get a free xbox. Ok Howie, next time pick me!

I have a dear friend JB who told me that maintaining a friendship is almost like maintaining a relationship. It can be really hard, and you have to put in a lot of time and effort. Since I’ve been single, I’ve really started focusing on my friendships and developing strong ties to those close to me. It can be exhausting sometimes. From the minute I got off work yesterday I was on my Bluetooth headset talking to various friends about plans for that evening and the next few days. I would hang up the phone and it would start ringing again. I love it though, being so busy and social. I love that almost every night of the week I have plans with friends. So what if part of it is because my new apartment has a kick ass pool and summer is in full swing?
I think one of the hardest things for a friendship is when someone goes through a breakup. My best friend EB is going through a rough one and I’m doing my best to be there for her. It’s hard because part of me just wants to celebrate because this guy was toxic. He was a horrible match for her, and they fought daily. I am excited that we’re both single together, and I can’t wait for the part where she’s happy to be rid of him. I just hope she can stay strong in the next few days and realize she deserves better. In the meantime, I’m just trying to figure out how to be the best friend I can be while she’s going through this. Any suggestions?

I’ve been with my company for a little over a year now, and I still feel like I have so much to learn. I want to learn how to be the best employee I can be, and get to that level where I become really valuable. I don’t know much about installation, like installing patch panels, servers, and things like that. I think it would be great to learn that kind of thing. Then there is all the server setup, the backend stuff that seems so overwhelming right now. Last night I finally opened up my textbook and started studying for my first Microsoft certification. It’s the most basic of the certs, but it’s a start. My goal is to get it done by the end of this year. Wish me luck!